Poopy Phonics Authors to Apologize to Everyone, Everywhere

PHILADELPHIA, PA -- Simax, the publisher of the childrens' book, PoopyPhonics(.com), has announced that as a knee-jerk reaction to the recent media conversion to civility and decency, its authors will be apologizing to everyone, everywhere, past, present, future, dead, alive, imagined, and Rush Limbaugh too.

The authors of Poopy Phonics, the new book for aspiring readers, barely known among decent, right-speaking adults with a fourth-grade vocabulary, butt creating quite a buzz among the potty minded of the world, would like to apologize.

We're sorry, we're sorry, we're sorry. We're sorry we said poop---we didn't mean to publish it. It's not where wee thought this would go. We're sorry we said pee, and fart, too. We apologize to our teachers, our mothers and fathers, our editors, our network adminstrators, our Internet Service Providers, God (in that order), Borat (well, maybe not Borat), Spongebob & Patrick, those cute penguins on the web, Big Bird, the melting polar bears, Don Imus, that nice lady at the McDonalds drive thru, Bill O'Reilly, the "Can-you-hear-me-now" guy on the commercials, Mr. Ed, and the Pope and other direct spokespeeple of the Abrahamic-and-non-Abrahamic almighty.

We had no idea that mere minutes after we went to press the world's collective voice would instantly flip-flop from mouth-frothing vitriolic slander to Anita Bryant pious generosity and kindness. This is so embarassing. Everything is now so pastoral and perfect and we have all these books printed with all this filthy, slimy, icky crap in them. Oh the shame, the shame... it is almost too much to endure. The money, too.

About Poopy Phonics:

When my kids were learning to read, I noticed that kids just love potty words. Once someone says one of these magic words, kids just seem transformed, like pulling the string on a windup toy. Around this time, my younger daughter was reading "Corduroy Goes to the Hospital." Since it had a very limited set of words, I made flashcards out of all of its words, to teach her to read. We played several different games with the cards and I never had to ask if she wanted to play... it was always her idea. I said a sentence and she had to find the words and construct it. Or she would find the words that rhymed, or just find particular words, or read the cards. At some point those two ideas stuck together and the result is Poopy Phonics! Get it for your kids and I'll bet they'll be transformed, too... into readers.

About the Author:
JackBellis(.com) lives and writes in suburban Philadelphia, PA. His other books include the the Amazon 5-star book, "It's Not Carpal Tunnel Syndrome, RSI Theory & Therapy for Computer Professionals," now in its fifth printing.

Contact:
To arrange for the authors, Jack, Jessica, and Kira Bellis to genuflect before you in a hideous display of remorseful self-promotion, please contact:

Simax
Jack Bellis
267-575-6934
www.PoopiePhonics.com

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