CHICAGO, ILL. -- Seeking to avoid a repeat of last year's "Black-and-Blue" Friday, the Ugg Slugg Federation of America (USFA) has suspended all sanctioned Ugg Slugg activities for Friday, Nov. 25 - a.k.a. "Black Friday." The USFA's unprecedented announcement follows last year's rash of Black Friday arrests at malls across the country.
According to Ugg Slugg, the first person to spot a pair of Uggs gleefully proclaims "Ugg Slugg" and gives their buddy a playful shoulder poke. (For more rules, see the humorous YouTube video "How to Play Ugg Slugg.") The rapid popularity of Ugg Slugg parallels the ever-expanding commonness of Uggs. Once a quirky, overpriced piece of "faux" couture, the sheepskin booties now are an obligatory fashion accessory for the masses.
The 2010 Black Friday arrests occurred when mall security mistook the game play of dozens of honest players for actual fights. USFA President Todd L. Tertleton said the most publicized cases resulted from security becoming overly physical and the Ugg Slugg players mistaking those punches as interest to join their games. When the players saw more Uggs and returned the punches, the mall cops rained baton blows down and tasered the players, stamping the day for many as "Black-and-Blue" Friday.
"As this is prime Ugg Slugg time, suspending game activities on Black Friday was a very difficult decision. It's like telling an alcoholic to put his drinking on hiatus for just the holiday office party season," Tertleton said. "But we wish to protect our players and prevent avoidable violence from giving the sport a black eye. After all, we aren't the NFL or competitive ice skating."
He added that avoiding mistaken arrests was only a part of the USFA's reasoning for shutting down Black Friday Slugging.
"The truth is playing Ugg Slugg in certain places can be very hazardous to players' health. When the concentration of Uggs becomes too high, players' shoulders can get real bruised from the sheer repetition," he said. "This now includes all malls on Black Friday, but we have been long enforced strict 'No Slugg Zones' anywhere people camp out for Justin Bieber tickets, as well as in Gloria Allred's waiting room."
Tertleton said this is the first time in the sport's history that an entire day has been deemed a No Slugg Zone.
"Like any sport, inclement weather causes us challenges, but never like this. When rain is forecast, Ugg spottings are naturally curtailed because people don't like wearing Uggs as they get water-logged quicker than a quilted pea coat," he said. "Wet Uggs also smell worse than day-old hot dog water. It really distracts from the sports' fun."
For more information about Ugg Slugg the Game and the underground history of Uggs, go to http://tinyurl.com/764wl5l. This video is available free of charge for posting, embedding and forwarding.
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This news release is for humor purposes only and to promote a humor video. The National Ugg Federation of America is the fictitious creation of Jeff Burdick, a Chicago-based comedy writer. His comedy work can be viewed at YouTube.com/skitsketchjeff and at BurdickComm.com. All humor videos may be posted or linked to for free on any Web site, with attribution to Jeff Burdick.
